September

As music is my passion, you should know that my post titles will be song titles.  The first, as mentioned was a BarlowGirl song, and the present is a Daughtry song.   Enough with the preface and on to the stuff!

This month has been quite interesting.  I've been learning how to be a leader and what kind of leader I want to be.  I love people, and sometimes that clouds my desired leadership style.  I want to be someone that people can look to, but it sometimes turns into enabling.  The enabling came from a need to please people and not offend anyone.  It has gotten to the point where I compromise my beliefs in doing so.  I can't travel this path anymore.  It's not good for me or anyone else.

I've been attending my church's chapter of Reformers Unanimous (RU).  RU is a Christ-centered addictions program for anyone.  My dad is the director and I just really started going to help him and my mom.  After a couple of months, and a series of wrong choices, I really saw what the program could do for me.  It's more than just a program for serious addicts.  It has truly helped me grow closer to God and not make the same mistakes I have made. 

I've said all this to say that I'm a different person than I was 2 or 3 months ago.  Yes, I did have a season of "fun" doing the wrong thing, but it's over and done with.  I'm learning to stand up for myself and what I believe.  It may not be a change that is noticed, but I'll get more comfortable with it.  I'm sorry to be so vague, but the things I have done are not something to brag about. 

What I learned today is that God blesses even when we don't deserve it, but that should make us want to do more for Him.  Though we may never deserve what He gives, we should strive to that goal of being "worth it".